my dick has a lot in common with the sun
nobody likes looking directly at it?
It gives people cancer?
woAh woah woah
It rises at the crack of dawn?
it disappears at night?
direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
nobody will ever touch it?
science side why this do that
water under grassy top make it go jiggle jiggle
thank u science side
Is that a metaphor?
I’m going to go through a list of your co-stars and you tell me what you think of them.
my dream is to be called a motherfucker by samuel l jackson
the newest addition to my bucket list
- Augustus: so your name is four
- Tobias: yeah
- Augustus: you could say it's a metafour
- Tobias: will you stop
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone for the first time?
what the fuck gabriel you’re a grown-ass man you can’t sit like that
"I couldn’t miss your hundredth and… whatever birthday."
Ed Sheeran is a better rapper than most rappers and he isn’t even a rapper
You’re over someone when you stop looking at their social media accounts.
Something terrible is happening to the Queen family and I’m sitting here DYING ABOUT THE FACT THAT SARA JUST BASICALLY TOLD OLIVER THAT HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HARNESS HIS FUCKING LIGHT.
SHE WAS TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT FELICITY. THE FUCKING WRITERS WERE TALKING ABOUT FELICITY THROUGH SARA, AS SHE IS BREAKING UP WITH OLIVER, BECAUSE SHE SEES THAT SHE IS NOT WHAT HE NEEDS.
I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me
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